Upgrade: Diet Re-Load

Yep.. Back on diet! It is not really a happy time for me but you know happy is not the goal here.

It’s been almost a year since I reluctantly went on diet because I simply had to: It is not healthy and it was messing up my hormones.  I will not elaborate on all the difficulties or the “I hate myself” moods i went through because they eventually paid off and I lost almost 20 kilos in the process..

Then, I decided to have a break.. It involved more than a Kitkat to be honest and I did not mind. Once you’re free, you’ll eat a lot more than you did even before the diet, you’ll eat with a vengeance. You miss nearly every kind of  food, even the ones you don’t like! You keep on eating because the dark shades of the diet prison always threaten to come back.. It is the same old story for all Fat people out there: our lives is a non-stop series of on diet, off diet periods that would never permit us to stop being fat.. We try though, just for the sake of trying, just to turn “Normal” whichever that means..

As a scientist, “Normal” is a confusing word for me: we learn from a very young age that DNA, responsible for determining the shape and size of a person, is unique for each individual.. Who determines “Normal” then? Normal is only a point of view that may change any day! It doesn’t matter if it wasn’t your point of view because in the case of “Normal” what matters is the amount of people who agrees that in fact something IS “Normal”. After all, who are you to contradict television, movies, magazines, books, actors, family, friends.. all of them viewing you as not “Normal”? All of them pushing, taunting or even gently urging you to become so?

Then again, being on diet is not only what you eat, it’s a way of life. After a long time on diet, you will acquire a few healthy habits that become part of your daily routine without intentionally meaning them to: I am used to drinking a lot of water for example, I do not eat late at night, I skip a few fatty food… This is something I like:” Healthy” is way different than “Normal”, “Healthy” is scientific. I don’t mind” Healthy”, and i am sure one day” Healthy” is going to tell you all that your “Normal” shouldn’t be that normal!

Now, I am diving back into the world of cruel deprivation. It is tough, but needs to be done. Wish me…not luck but patience, strength and “Normality” !

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About Farah

- Heavy reader (literally). - Scientist in process. - Veiled Muslim (alhamdoulillah).

Posted on August 29, 2012, in Personal and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. I was amazed with the power of u will u had to start the very first diet cuz no matter how much u said u hate it and ur forced to do it, nothing can really make u go for it unless ur convinced and have a motive. I’m glad ur back and I wish u could lend me some of that will.
    Yours truly,
    Fatiyeh & Daad 🙂

    • Dear Daad, (I took Fatiye bcz we have the same letter)
      Your are more powerful than you think you are.. Just decide, set your goal and stick to your decisions..
      You do this every day, why should food be any different?
      Love you,
      Fatiyeh :p

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